Do You Have Bad Mom Syndrome?

I wonder if too many of us have “Bad Mom Syndrome.”
No, it’s not from watching the movie.  Actually it might be featured there, but I haven’t watched it since I don’t need access to even more wacko ideas.

Ha! Just trying to keep it together here.

But because you are probably short on time, as a mom,  I’ll get right to it: it’s that place of constant guilt.  The imagination that you are a bad mom for juggling different things instead of having hyper focus ALL. THE. TIME.

 

timelapse and greyscale photography of woman

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You Are Not a Bad Mom

Juggling lots of different things does not make you a bad mom.
In fact juggling was probably created for us to manage, expressly because we manage so many different things, well.

Repeat after me:

You are not a bad mom for working.
You are not bad at work because of your focus as a mom.
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You’re not alone.  The struggle is real.
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In a past career in the military, I saw many friends have to choose, one or the other. In my units, I saw zero examples of a woman making it work.  
What? I’m being honest.
So when MY time came to choose, I told myself, I could stay in and be an example, or I could get out.
I always envisioned myself as a pioneer, but at that time I couldn’t do it.  I couldn’t be the example. I got out of the military. 
For me, for my tiny family, the choice was clear – but many of my friends, working in and outside the home, still struggle daily with this pull. And I sometimes do, too.

photo of a woman thinking

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Early Beginnings

I feel like this guilt starts early.  We live in a culture that is geared toward “either/or.” Early on in life, we are asked this question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and it’s so limiting.

Like we can only be or do one thing!

It limits God. It also limits His time.

It limits us to think we are only productive only AFTER – after we’ve grown up, or after something else is accomplished… why?

It’s madness to think that not finishing everything we juggle is a sign of a bad mom!  You can relax! You were made for many things. 


It’s my belief that this seemingly harmless elementary school question limits us as a culture.  It certainly causes confusion among parents searching for “their one thing.”
girls on desk looking at notebook

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Rewording Life

So I rephrase that question, from “What do you want to be when you grow up?” to
“What are you called to be or do RIGHT NOW?”
 
You can ask that of children and they know their contribution matters NOW.
You can ask that of grown adults who feel that any career change is a midlife crisis.

In this question, change is free to be change: it can be a natural movement instead.
 
You are free to pull from your past experience to build upon your future.
 

And each of your roles has built you for your next purpose.

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Moving Forward Beyond Bad Mom Syndrome

May I give you some hope: when you’re doing what you’re called to do, paid or not, from the home, from a computer, or in a brick & mortar workplace, EVERY role you play makes you better at EVERY thing else you do.
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I’d love to hear from you. 
I’m making a huge assumption here, but what has been your struggle?

The Fort Bragg Fisher House Needs Help

Recently, the Fort Bragg Fisher House reached out to the community stating that there were needs.  The Fisher House at Fort Bragg helps over 100 famlies each year.  But their bookcases are looking worn, and could look better and be equipped better to help those families.

I saw this list of needs, and because last year our fundraiser and book raiser for them was so successful, I asked if I could provide that help again.  Technically they are not allowed to say yes or no – so I thought, I will work toward this goal because I know my network is AMAZING; indeed, last year, we raised $300 in NEW books for those kids!  Want to try to bless them that way again?

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The Fisher House provides help to over 100 families yearly, as they wait for their soldiers to heal at the nearby Womack Army Hospital.  Their facility is incredible.  Handicap accessible, kitchen ready for many families, a beautiful setting and even an enclosed back yard full of toys for children.

 

However, as we well know, books that are read well need to be updated and replaced.  So, to provide help and stories to the families at the Ft Bragg Fisher House, I am launching our book drive.  It is easy and simple.  You can become involved by doing one of two things:

1) Go to https://tinyurl.com/FBfisherhouse and select one, two, or even 20 books from the list you’d like to donate.  Choose “SHIP WITH ORGANIZATION” at checkout and the books ship free!  I’ll send you a huge thank you, and if you are a business, I’ll give you a shout out on social media!

2) Copy and paste this message on your social media sites because EVERY BOOK HELPS:

The Ft Bragg Fisher House takes care of more than 100 soldiers’ families each year.  Now they’re asking for our help!  You can help by selecting any books from this list and having them sent to the Fisher House free of charge. Simply click here and select “SHIP WITH ORGANIZATION” for free shipping directly to the home! https://tinyurl.com/FBfisherhouse

I’d love to wrap this up for them by August 15.  Please please please help us get the word out.  These soldiers’ families deserve the very best.  It is my intention to give them the very best in children’s stories – books that last longer than most – and send them love in the quality of gifts they will receive.

Thank you for supporting our soldiers!

Happy Reading,
Wendy

P. S. Here’s the direct link to “My Mommy is a Hero” : https://b4108.myubam.com/p/6977/my-mommy-is-a-hero
Here’s the direct link to “My Daddy is a Hero” : https://b4108.myubam.com/p/6976/my-daddy-is-a-hero

 


New Writing Tools & Anxiety-Processing Activities

In this video, I introduce our NEW titles to help with the writing process (linked for purchase here).
I also include two new titles that should help youngsters process anxiety and new situations.  Sure wish these had been available when I was a child!  I expect great uses to come from these: children who move a lot (either with family or in search of forever families), for example.
Link to purchase “No Worries” is here.  Link to purchase “Hello Happy” is here.
If this excites you as a future writer, please share!